How do you find out what they REALLY want?
Today I am going to share with you a cast study or scenario to make it easier for you to understand today's Parenting Tip.
How often have you stopped to consider that what your child is asking for, is not really what they want?
I'm guessing you've been in the space, as I have, where my child has asked for something, I've supplied it and they still aren't happy.
This is a perfect example of them not asking for what they really want.
They might have some idea in their head that they can't have what they want. Sound familiar?
Or, it might be that they don't know how to express in words what they do really want.
I know that I've used the word 'really' a number of times in these past three days.
I'm using that word only to show that what we think is reality, isn't.
What we hear or see, is not necessarily the case, not necessarily true.
So here is our opportunity to practice being present, and fully listening, to see if we understand what they might be wanting.
If you hear them, what they are asking for, and you validate that back to them, see if they respond with "Yes, that's it."
I'm going to guess that there might be a few times when that happens AND a majority of times when it doesn't.
Because they are practicing asking for things in a way that they have seen you or both of their parents do.
If you aren't clear in asking for what you want, they won't be either.
No judgment, simply noticing that this is the case.
Children mimic their parent or parents naturally, as they are the people they spend the most time around when they are young.
You have been their role model.
A Want = Something clearly expressed that when meant makes them happy.
Oh, and it is okay to say No, if what they want doesn't work for you.
More details on this in another email.
Are you clear on what your child really wants?
Be present, really listen and notice if they are clear on their want
Be curious, ask more questions to find the unspoken want
HELP THEM BE CLEAR ABOUT THEIR WANT